Women & Modesty

Remain standing as I read the Word of God. Likewise, wives, sorry, 1 Peter 3, 1-6, Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear, But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

You may be seated. Last week, we focused on the first and second and then the fifth and sixth verse of this chapter, exhorting wives to be subject to their husbands. And we talked about what that means. If you didn't hear it, it's available online. And I wanted to take a second week to talk about what I think verses 3 and 4 really highlight. And I think if we had to sum it up in one word, verses 3 and 4 highlights what we call modesty.

And modesty is something that is misunderstood by people. first of all modesty is not just for women and it's not just about the way you look so we'll get into that a little bit but for the most part people think of modesty and they just think well put on a big baggy sweater and you know then you're modest and so I think there's a lot of misunderstandings of modesty of what it really means and what the real aim of it is But second of all, I think we have a modesty problem in our society and in our culture and not in this room, but in the church. And anybody here that has gone to a different church. So like I thank the Lord that there's nobody in this room that I feel like I have to rebuke.

So I am not picking on anyone here. So if I say something and it like cuts you to the heart like that's between you and the Lord. and hopefully he's going to deal with you because we all have some form of immodesty in our heart as we're going to see as we explore what the scripture really means by it. But in particular, I think we do have a problem in our society right now and I think the problem has invaded our church which is where people in general just do not understand what it means or they understand and they don't care. you can go to a lot of churches around just the city of Columbus and men who walk into those churches will have to spend the entire time trying to avert their eyes from women who dress in ways that are absolutely inappropriate and there are probably men who are inappropriate as well and it just so happens that men just are not attractive enough to actually usually bother women much when they If I was wearing a sleeveless shirt, I don't think there's a woman in the room that would be struggling with lust right now.

But she's my wife, and so she's allowed to. So it's just not the common thing. So this is an introduction. I'm not teaching the word yet, so it's a little bit awkward. But women in general are the fairer sex, we call it. And we're actually the only species where the female is the more beautiful one. and Paul even talks about that in 1 Corinthians 11 that the woman is the glory of man and it just so happens that the way things have been ordained women tend to attract men's attention visually this is why men in general until the last 25 years about why men in general get up in the morning and go to work it's because they want a woman to actually want to live with them and men who historically men who wouldn't get up and go to work and bring home the bacon as they say they would not be able to find a wife because decent women knew that that was a requirement of their men now literally everything is backwards now in our society and it's almost impossible to get people to actually use words like man and woman because they don't even want to put people in those types of categories but God puts us in those categories and if we're going to live a life that is counter-cultural, not for the sake of being counter-cultural, but for the sake of being conformed to God's Word, and being conformed regularly to the image of Jesus Christ, and being transformed by the renewal of our minds, we need to be concerned with what God has to say.

And so, when Peter, but we're going to look at Paul too, when Peter exhorts the wives to not let their adorning be external, but to let it be internal, He's talking about a number of things, and this includes the way that you dress. And so we're going to talk about that. Albert Martin has a really good teaching on this topic, where he uses the phrase that he believes the women need to be decidedly modest and deliberately feminine.

And he goes into a nice exhortation of what all those things mean, and he actually only gets through half of the sermon. It's an hour long. But he says be decidedly modest. It has to be an intentional thing. You're not accidentally modest. We're really not accidentally anything holy.

We are of a state, even if you've been regenerated in your heart that you believe the gospel, we are of a state where we have to decide that we want to do what's right. We have to decide we want to do what's pure and holy. And a lot of times, our ignorance of what these things are is our problem I think that there are people in the world who are immodest and it accidental I do believe that there people that they just don realize how the shirt that they're wearing looks when they, you know, if they reach up for something, for example, or if they bend over for something.

And so I think that there are people who have accidentally done things that may cause someone else to sin. So that's something to think about is you have to be decided. And then deliberately feminine. Our world wants women to act like men, wants women to dress like men. I remember 20 years ago or so, they started having the WWE or the WWF. There was always guys fighting each other.

And then they started having girls do stuff, but they were basically in their underwear. and that was after I stopped watching thanks God, thank God I didn't get into that but it was like they were on display almost like strippers but now the women are fighting in the MMA and beating each other and stuff and this month we're celebrating well the United States is celebrating a woman football player at Vanderbilt University and what I find phenomenal is I was thinking about it I thought I wouldn't play against her that I realized I would have had to have boycotted the situation because I would not have felt comfortable tackling her, hitting her, blocking her, anything like that. But we are blurring the lines in our culture intentionally. The society is trying to get us to stop thinking in terms of man and woman, and it's an intentional attack against the God of the Bible. sinners everywhere cannot touch God they cannot actually hurt God they can't do anything to actually show their animosity to Him and so what they do is they violate His law left and right and they do that with the hope that they feel strong about it then that's their mockery so we can live differently I also want to add one note that if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery with her in his heart.

That's the words of Jesus. So if you didn't like that, you could take it up with him. So again, if a man looks upon a woman with lustful intent, he has committed adultery with her in his heart. And it's his responsibility to confess his sin, to be forgiven by the Lord for that sin, and to repent of that sin, and then to take whatever actions necessary in his life to help himself, to be free of that bondage to sin, as well as maybe avoid the temptation altogether.

Having said that, women have a responsibility as well. In Luke 17, Jesus said to his disciples, temptations to sin are sure to come. And he says, but woe to the one through whom they come. it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea that he should cause one of these little ones to sin so women you have a responsibility to your brothers you have a responsibility to the men out there who aren't brothers who aren't even fighting their lust to dress yourself in a way that does not attract the wrong type of attention to you.

It's actually one of the rules. If you want to evangelize with me, you'll read through the rules. And one of the rules has to do with women need to understand that I'm not going to bring you with me into an environment where there are people all over the place that we know are pagans, and I'm not going to have you show up in a short skirt and a tight shirt or something like that.

This desire for a modesty is so strong. Yesterday when we went to Ohio State, I had hand warmers, I had a hat. I almost put a mask on. I was wearing a winter coat. I wore my winter boots. That was more for traction than for warmth, but the warmth was fine too.

And yet we still saw young ladies walking around in midriff shirts. That is how important it is to people to be modest. Granted, she probably wasn't hanging out for a long time. She was probably going to go in somewhere, But why didn't she wear a coat while she was outside at least? It's amazing to me. So turn to Isaiah 3.

So we're going to talk about the problem and the solution. God is really good at doing this in his word constantly. God tells us what not to do, and then he tells us what to do. And usually what it is, is he tells us, stop doing this thing that you do in your flesh, and it's usually some outward action. and then he points you in the direction of here's where your heart should be pointed so that you will have the right focus.

And then if you have the right focus, the right actions are going to follow. That's usually how it's laid out, especially if you read the letters that Paul wrote. Paul is very, very laid out like that. Your problem with sin is always fixed by focusing on that which is lovely, commendable, good, pure, just, excellent. You focus on Jesus Christ and you focus on his perfections. and then you enjoy what His Word has to say, and you'll find yourself starting to do some of the holy things that God has commanded.

In Isaiah 3, God is commanding judgment. He's announcing the judgment that's going to come. And He goes through judgment on men and other people too. But in verse 16 of Isaiah 3, He's going to get real specific here with the ladies. And I guess ladies is a very, very loose term to use when we talk about what these ladies in Isaiah 3 are doing. But I do think even when a woman has decided to degrade herself to the point where technically she shouldn be thought of as a lady it is still our responsibility to actually think of them as made in the image of God Somebody daughter somebody sister somebody who God may be saving at some point and bringing into your midst And so we should have respect for fellow image bearers, even if we have to use words when we talk to them that are very hard words. and so I will be the first I will be the first person who would and I don't mean to offend kids but this is a bible word I would be the first person to call a woman a whore if I need to and to tell her that she's going to suffer in hell for her whoredom that will not bother me to do if it's appropriate but at the same time I still want to have respect for every image bearer of God and so we always want to think of people as, we always want to think of people as pre-saved.

That's a nice way to look at everybody that offends you, everybody that's walking around doing all these horrible things. Think of them as pre-saved, and their salvation testimony is going to be wonderful, and you hope for the best. Follow along with me in verse 16. Yahweh said, because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet.

Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion and Yahweh will lay bare their secret parts. In that day Yahweh the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands and the crescents, the pendants, the bracelets, and the scarves, the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets, the signet rings and nose rings, the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags, the mirrors, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils. He says, instead of perfume, there will be rottenness.

And instead of a belt, a rope. And instead of well-set hair, baldness. And instead of a rich robe, a skirt of sackcloth. and branding instead of beauty. Your men shall fall by the sword and your mighty men in battle and her gates shall lament and mourn. Empty she shall sit on the ground and seven women shall take hold of one man in that day saying, we will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes.

Only let us be called by your name. Take away our reproach. Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, verse 16, God's going to do this. They walk with outstretched necks. They have a prideful gait about them. This is not an admonition that you should always walk with your head down, staring at your navel or staring at your toes.

God's describing the outward behavior of these women that's based on their inward pride in their heart, though. These are the people of God. He doesn't say because the daughters of Assyria. This isn't the daughters of Babylon. These are the covenant people of God in the old covenant. The daughters of Zion have done this.

This is pre-exile. If you remember some Old Testament events. It's one of the beauties. I was thinking when Jason was reading again, you're literally reading the eyewitness history of the world. When Jason reads to you at the beginning of the service. Same here.

But it says, These women are glancing wantonly with their eyes. The word wantonly means that it's actually like a sexual thing. I hate to use the word to little kids, but it's a look that they have in their eyes that we all know what that look is. And you know it if you're walking to the mall because you want to go to Build-A-Bear, maybe you want to do something innocent, and you have to walk by some of the stores that now have the pictures out, and you know the look that these models have in their eyes and the look is intended to make people think about sex.

That's the whole point of it. It's not an innocent thing that people are doing. She's just a pretty girl. It's not her fault. There's a look in people's eyes that can actually be suggestive and God says it right here. He says they're glancing wantonly with their eyes.

These people have given themselves over to their lusts. and then says, mincing along with their feet, or mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet, which is a really funny word, I thought. Like, what does it mean to be tinkling with your feet? And I think the idea, you see it in verse 18, when he says, in that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets.

It's this idea that these women, they were so done up, and they were so made up, and they had so much perfume, and they had so much jewelry and they had all these things and the whole point of the things was to attract attention to themselves. I'm going to read a quote by John Calvin. It's a long quote, so bear with me. And then maybe I'll break it down a little bit.

But the whole point is that God isn't saying that anklets are wrong or headbands are wrong. We have a beautiful little girl here today wearing a headband. I couldn't possibly say it's wrong. It would be crazy right now. and God's not saying bracelets are wrong my wife has a nose ring, I don't think he's saying nose rings are wrong in fact they're distinctly feminine, I would argue I don't think men should have all these piercings that guys have that's a different sermon but listen to what Calvin says about this passage he said it better than I could, so we'll just read what he wrote he says, as to the particulars I shall not stay to explain them especially as the best Hebrew scholars have doubts about some of them and cannot distinguish with certainty the forms of those ornaments so basically he saying we not even totally sure what the Hebrew words were right For anklets and all these different things He says, it is enough if we understand the general import and design of the prophet.

Namely, that he heaps up and enumerates these trifles in order that the prodigious variety of them may disclose their luxury and ambition, so as to leave them without any excuse. So, I'm unquoting now. So, it's like, it's not really about the details. It's not about ankle bracelets. It's not about earrings. It's not about all the details of it.

It's about the fact that it's basically God's opening a fire hose of you're just so overwhelmingly prideful and looking for attention and glory for yourself. And most of what you're trying to do is trying to attract the kind of attention that's sinful anyway. So back to the quote, he says, It would be the height of impudence to allege that the contrivances made by the childish vanity of women beyond what nature requires are necessary for protecting the body.

How many things are here enumerated which are not demanded by nature or necessity or propriety? So he's bringing up how many of these things are not natural. You don't need ankle bracelets. You need certain things. You don't need coiffed hair with gold rings in it. He says, what is the use of chains, bracelets, earrings, and other things of the same sort?

Hence, it is plain enough that a superfluous collection of such ornaments admits of no excuse, that it gives evidence of excessive luxury which ought to be suppressed or restrained, and that frequently they are unchaste contrivances for weakening the mind and exciting lust. We need not wonder, therefore, that the prophet speaks so sharply and threatens severe punishments against this vice. So there's more to this quote.

I had to take out a lot of what Calvin had wrote. But the whole point is this. It's not necessarily that any of these things are wrong in and of themselves. With your freedom in Jesus Christ, You can use all sorts of different makeup. And in fact, I hope some of you ladies try to look pretty for your husbands. If you're not, I think you're in sin.

I think you should want to. I think you should want to do those kinds of things. But it's the excessive luxury of them all. That's the focus. Peter said, do not let your adorning be external. He didn't say don't adorn yourself externally. he said do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit Peter is saying that when you adorn yourselves that you adorn yourselves internally that that's actually how you display your beauty that's how you display your worship of God and most of you most of the girls in this room are married and the little ones that aren't married yet, you don't want to attract that kind of attention.

If you're a married woman and you want to attract the attention of other men so that they think you're beautiful or they think you're hot, or even worse, they think you're attractive, that's the wrong kind of attention for you to want. In fact, there's a guy named Rick Thomas. I don't know if I recommend him anymore. I haven't heard him speak in a while.

People seem to be kind of dropping off of good doctrine like flies lately. But he has a phrase, he calls it a reverse porn addiction. And it's when women desire to be looked at. And I don't think they think about it that way. But there's something in people that wants to be looked at when you're a woman, which is the difference between what men who usually want to look. and that pornography for men in the church is supposedly this big problem.

For women, it's the desire to get the glory. It's the desire to be looked at. We also see here that God's going to judge these people. He says instead of perfume, there's going to be rottenness. There's all these opposites. And the opposites show you how horrible the sin is instead of well-set hair baldness.

The glory of a woman is her hair. That you use your hair for impure purposes, to attract attention to yourself from other men, or God forbid that you would do what Paul was admonishing Timothy about, and you walk into church with your hair so done up that the guy sitting behind you can't focus on Jesus Christ when he's worshipping because he's so entrenched by your beautiful hair, even if the rest of your body is completely modest, You come into church, you're here to worship Jesus Christ, and everything you do should be for His glory, and you should want to help everyone else to worship Him in spirit and truth. And if you attract attention to yourself by your clothing or by your hair, that's unacceptable.

If you happen to be very beautiful, praise the Lord, good for you. Good for your husband. There's nothing wrong with being naturally gifted with a pretty face. But there are women that we have all known who were pretty women who were modest. And they didn't demand people's attention because of their ostentatiousness, because of their luxurious, excessive adornment of ornaments and different things that draw attention to them.

Or even worse sometimes, the fact that they reveal more of themselves physically than ought to be done. Drawing attention to the wrong parts of them. so God is going to judge he says your men will fall by the sword your mighty men in battle so these guys are gonna die, and you're going to have this society of people who, in chapter 4, he says, and seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, we will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name. So what's going to happen is you have this nation, and you've got all these little boys and girls growing up, and they're getting to know each other, and parents are probably arranging marriages and stuff like that, and each little boy is going to get a little girl, and then they're going to become married and they're going to have kids.

And after what God's going to do to them, you're going to have seven women to one man. And women are going to be so desperate to be married, to take away the reproach that comes upon an unmarried woman at that time, that they'd actually say, I'll eat my own bread and drink my own wine, wear my own clothes. They're not even going to make the guy work to marry him.

They just need to be married. It's a punishment. And so this is the desperation they're going to come to. This guy Oswald, he wrote, here is the final end of our desire to avoid dependence. So you have these women who it starts with their desire for independence, right? And so rather than get married, rather than settle down, rather than be submissive to just this one guy, rather than have to maybe be under the authority of a guy that you don't even always like that much sometimes.

They want to be independent, so they're going to work, they're going to make money, they're going to wear a business suit, they're going to dress for success, they're going to do what they have to do to climb the corporate ladder. He says, here is the final end of our desire to avoid dependence. We will become dependent in the most degrading and disadvantaged ways.

It's actually merciful of God to make not following His design something that the fruit of which is so bad it makes people not want it. God would be mean if you could violate His design and find success. It's actually a blessing that not following His design makes life so difficult. It's actually a blessing that when you look around and you read these reports that our country has the highest rate of depression and all these things that are going on, It's actually supposed to be a wake-up call for people to realize, well, maybe we're doing something wrong here.

Maybe the advent of approving of all these perverted behaviors and all of these contrary-to-God designs is what's causing the depression. Now, the blindness of people's eyes doesn't seem to be going that way. But God has a way of getting people's attention. we will become dependent in the most degrading and disadvantaged ways. Turn to 1 Timothy 2.9. We'll look at one of these words that's used here.

1 Peter 3 uses a word that's only used three times in the New Testament. And I'm not going to tell you what it is in Greek. I don't remember it. But in 1 Peter 3, we'll go to 1 Timothy in a second. 1 Peter 3, he says, Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

He says this concept, very precious. It's actually one word in the original. And if you look at 1 Timothy 2.9, we're going to see that same word used again and this is another passage about women he says likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel so it's another adorning how should you look? he says with modesty and self-control if you read the King James it says with shamefacedness It's not in the ESV.

I don't know exactly why. But he says, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works. So there he's saying, you actually adorn yourself by your Christian living. But he says, costly attire, that's that which is expensive. That's the great price. okay so when he says very precious in 1 Peter 3 it's the same word as where it says costly attire it's something that is of great price so now turn to Mark 14 3 and we're going to see the one other time this word is used we're going to try to understand now what Paul what Peter's trying to say, Paul 2.

But in Mark 14, 3, Jesus is in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper. As he was reclining at a table, a woman came to him with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard. It says, very costly. And she broke the flask and poured it over his head. In the King James, it says, very precious. So it's the same word.

And so what you have here is you have this idea. Remember, this was oil that could have been sold for more than 200 denarii. It was like a year's wages. Maybe part of a year. But the idea is this, is that Peter is trying to tell us what's very precious. And so what we think is precious is physical things.

Gold, silver, right? Nice clothes. a car that when I pull into the parking lot everybody kind of looks like ooh It doesn just have to be women it doesn just have to be their clothing Modesty refers to the attitude of your heart that desires that God gets attention rather than you. Immodesty has to do with wanting people to notice you. And it could be for any number of reasons.

It could be because you think you're so funny you have to interject a joke into every conversation. I know a guy who had to repent of that. And he still struggles with it in his mind sometimes. But what is of great value to God? What is very precious to God? not nard and oil, but a woman who is quiet and submissive, according to 1 Timothy and 1 Peter. That is very precious in his sight.

In 1 Peter 1, we saw that we were redeemed not by silver and gold, but with the precious blood of Christ. Remember? So we have a thinking problem, and our thinking problem tells us that what we see as valuable is valuable, and what God sees as valuable is not what's valuable. what we think is exalting is actually what God sees as sickening, and what we see as humble is actually what God desires to exalt.

Humble yourself before the Lord and he will exalt you. That's James. Peter says the same thing in chapter 5 of his first epistle, the one we're studying. Humble yourselves, therefore, at the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he will exalt you. Jesus says whoever humbles himself will be exalted, and whoever exalts himself will be humbled. I think the modern English version is, the way up is down, is what people like to say.

So we have to have a humility that only God can grant. Okay, so in case somebody thought I just said, women don't try to look nice, I didn't. in Genesis 24 Abraham's servant goes and gives gives Rebecca all the gold and stuff to wear so that she'll look pretty for his son there's a reason why on a wedding day all the bridesmaids always complain that the dresses are so ugly that they have to wear it's by design there's one woman that's supposed to shine that day and look beautiful. So sorry, if you're a pretty girl and you get asked to be in someone's wedding, they're going to give you the most unflattering dress they can so that when you're standing up there by the bride, the bride's the one that looks beautiful.

It's her day. She's allowed to look beautiful. I do think that some brides are rather immodest too. I think people should keep an eye on that when they oversee a wedding. but it's okay to want to look beautiful. I think that there are some things that we should consider. One of them is that there are things that you can there are people you can ask to help you.

If you are married, if you have a father, you can ask your husband, you can ask your father to tell you if something you're wearing is modest. So there's two main factors. Is it decent? Does it cover you in such a way that it makes sense from a sexually suggestive perspective. And as much as you don't want to think about it, as much as you don't want to imagine that there are men out there who are predatorial and evil, and you don't want to imagine that even in a nice place like a church, there's going to be people who are struggling with that sin.

There are men that are going to be in a room with you who they seem nice, they seem like they love the Lord, and they are fighting their own battle. And if there's one battle that almost everybody in the United States knows that Christian men are fighting, it's the temptation for sexual sin. We are so inundated with pornographic images on a nonstop basis.

You can't drive to a store now without seeing billboards of scantily clad women. I go on Facebook and Christian women are posting pictures in bikinis. It's amazing to me what is happening now. And so you can help people by asking your dad, asking your husband, Hey, how does this outfit look? Would this possibly cause somebody that's struggling to sin? I don't want to.

Would this draw more attention to me than to the Lord? You don't know how you look from above. If somebody's taller than you, you don't know how you look from behind, ask people to help you if you care. And if you don't care, repent of not caring. The second thing is you can think about, am I drawing attention to myself because I have some need in me to feel pretty?

I want to feel pretty. Maybe your husband doesn't make you feel pretty and that's a different problem and that should get fixed. but you have to find out why am I doing what I'm doing do I want people to think I'm successful? is that why I have this reindeer tie tonight? do you think it's because I want you to think I'm a successful guy so I can afford a tie? I like to believe that I dress up to show you that I love the word of God I believe that this is a special time and at the same time I hope you're not looking at my outfit thinking oh wow that's an amazing shirt how did he afford it or anything like that So I try myself to think about what modesty looks like.

And that's what we all ought to do. And why do we do it though? Why? Is it just because we don't want guys to lust after us? Is it just because a preacher guy told us This is where we have to realize this is a matter of the heart Why are you doing what you're doing? Is it because you realize that Jesus Christ made himself of no estate for you?

Isaiah 53 says he had no form or majesty that we should look upon him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He had no form or majesty. He's the King of kings and Lord of lords. You get that? Psalm 98 says He's our King. He's literally the only majestic being in the entire universe.

Like He's not in the universe, but you know what I'm saying. He is the King. He's the Lord. And yet He made Himself to have no form or majesty that we should look upon Him. He had no beauty that we should desire Him. And we talked about this Thursday.

God's the source of all beauty. He is beauty itself. Beauty has no definition apart from God. The most beautiful thing that you see in this creation is a sad misrepresentation of how perfect God is. Even the best thing Adam saw in creation doesn't compare to the incomprehensible, infinite, majestic beauty of God. And yet Jesus Christ humbled himself.

Jesus Christ came and was of no estate I've heard it said so many times if I was God I would do this if I was God I would have come into the world and I would have been born in a palace and I would have had really good attendance that helped me and I certainly wouldn't have been born in the Middle East 2,000 years ago I would have been born in a nice hospital air conditioning and I would have had servants but God made himself of no estate for the sake of those he came to die for so God was in exile in a strange land just like Peter is writing to us God is the one who sent his son into the world and Jesus Christ, God in the flesh was the one who had no beauty that we should desire him it wasn't his concern that when he walked down the street people would say oh look at that guy Jesus Christ had the imperishable beauty of a perfect heart towards God and he did that for the sake of his people and that is your motivation your motivation is that if you found out that every guy in the world would stop lusting and you could dress however you wanted and if you found out that nobody would ever look at you and be jealous of you because you could be as showy as you wanted to be if somehow or other you could have a day where you could be as immodest as you wanted to not and you wouldn't cause anyone else to stumble it should crush you to think about acting in a way that God doesn't desire you to act because God says do not let your adorning be external but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. I'm looking at a room full of mostly young ladies. I think my own bride is the old one of the group.

Pretty sure. And you know what? Other than the ones that are younger, you're all just getting older. The younger ones are going to grow up and be beautiful young ladies one day, but most of you are on the way out. you're not getting prettier I'm sorry to tell you no one's going to come along and say let's put her on the cover of Cosmo or whatever these magazines are now I don't say that to insult you the men, we have it rougher because we never got good looking most of us and now we're already on the way out too but what's beautiful is your spirit what's beautiful is your sisterliness none of you care how good looking I am you only care if I get up and preach the word of God to you and your husbands are going to see that beautiful quiet spirit they're going to see your submission they're going to see that you love the Lord Jesus Christ they're going to see you doing your devotions and your prayers they're going to see you struggle through difficulties they're going to see you fight for Jesus Christ's glory in your life they're going to see you spanking kids and wiping noses and wiping butts and all the different things we have to wipe when we're parents.

And they're going to see you homeschooling kids and teaching them the same thing over and over and getting frustrated with them. They're going to see you hurting when you do things for others and they betray you. And as much as to this world your beauty is perishable and your physical things that you look like are going to change and for the most part we just age and get uglier, you're actually becoming more beautiful to your husband all the time when you have that right spirit.

I look at old pictures of my wife now and it's like I don't even know who she was. Because that's not the woman I'm married to now. That's not the woman I know now. And so that's what Peter's promising us. Here's some thoughts for you. This is from David P.

Murray, a very good preacher. He says, when you're thinking about modesty, here's some things to think about. So anybody want some practical tips? So he says, the amount of fabric. Is there enough to cover what should be covered? If you don't know what should be covered, ask somebody.

We'll tell you. And it's kind of easy in a sense. Just imagine exposing parts of your body. If somebody was looking at that part and you don't like that idea, cover it. Now that if you a little sensitive at least If you completely insensitive you have a different issue at this point But is there enough to cover what should be covered The position of the fabric does the fabric cover the critical places High and low, front and back.

The transparency of the fabric, is the fabric to see through? Sometimes what might not look see through in your closet is see through when you get in a room with some lights or something. the holes in the fabric, are there holes for arms or legs and neck? Do they reveal too much? Something to think about. The movement, am I still modest when I walk or sit down or lean over?

That's a good one. Sometimes when you're standing looking in the mirror, everything looks okay, and then you sit down, and everything slides up a little bit. And you have to think about what that does. The tightness, are your clothes more like body paint, he said. If your clothes are tight, you're basically not wearing clothes. You've just painted yourself.

Personally, I think a woman should be disgusted at the thought of exposing herself to anyone but her husband. I think it should gross you out. So if you're at the point where you're just still thinking, well, I kind of am not grossed out by it, I think you should think about that. and it should gross you out men to think about looking at anybody who's not your wife it may be a natural thing that we understand what beauty is and some of that stuff but you should be grossed out by it it should sicken you to think about it then he adds the color and the patterns of the fabric and my attention seeking or trying to startle and get others talking about me you know are you are you are you trying to attract attention by it?

Or is this just basically the frame for your face and you're just going out and being a good sister? And then he finishes where he should. He says, most importantly, the state of the heart. What are my motives in my clothing choices? Is it about pleasing the Lord first and most? Or is it about me?

Pleasing me and my friends and my culture? Or is it even about deliberately offending others? So as you think about your modesty, as you think about why you dress the way you do. Don't get too focused on just the physical part of it. That's the problem with a lot of religion today, is we just figure, well, I'll just clean up the outside. Okay, so just starting to wear baggier sweaters is not the answer to your modesty issue if you think you have a problem.

It may be helpful, I don't know. Like I said, there's nobody in this room that I'm speaking to specifically. But where's your heart attitude? Do you think about God when you get dressed? Do you think about the struggling brother who's still fighting his addiction to pornography and he comes to church because he thinks it's the one safe place he should be able to come each week.

The one place where he hopes that he could just not have to deal with fighting that temptation. Do you think about the guest that comes into church? The guy that comes in that doesn't really mean to be here, but he's looking around for that girl that's advertising that there's things available to him if he would maybe play the right cards in front of her.

If I put my car at the end of my driveway, people are going to think I'm selling it. right? When people look at you, what are you selling? What are they going to think you're selling based on what you're wearing? So it's something to think about. I don't think that there's a problem with it in the sense of the degree that these women who had to be judged are, but we can learn from them.

And we can learn from the gospel example of Jesus Christ who died and was able to come into the most humble estate so that he would be exalted. and so you ladies and you men think about modesty think about the way you dress and think about your motives for why you dress that way why you do your makeup or perfume or whatever it is and strive for purity strive for pure motives and in God's sight that's very precious that is what God sees as great price not costly attire not spike nerd but a gentle and quiet spirit that's your adorning let's pray Lord we thank you for your word we thank you that your word is always true and that sometimes topics come along that are harder than others there's topics that just seem less easy to roll off the tongue even. So with fear and trembling, I exhort people to understand what Peter intends for the exiles in a strange land in regards to their dress and adornment. I pray that you would use your word to pierce people's hearts, that people would strive for more purity of mind, that they would be concerned for how their thoughts and actions affect others and that we would see what your word commands women to be teaching the younger women these things.

And that you would protect us all from this evil in the world that causes us to want to blur the differences between the sexes and causes us to forget what it means to dress modestly and to live modest lives. So help us, Lord, as we go to prayer and to communion, to continue to worship you in spirit and truth. In Christ's name I pray. Amen.